Confessions of a researchaholic

2013-03-15

Burnout

Filed under: Real — liyiwei @ 4:22 pm
Tags: , , ,

A recent PhD graduate whom I know well, who has been doing quite well in graphics research, just took a non-research job in a non-graphics position, among several postdoc offers from top research institutions.

The reasons he cited are numerous, but the 2 main ones are:

. He likes graphics research, but he is getting bored and tired of the SIGGRAPH game, including deadline crunch and dealing with reviewers.

. He would like to learn something new and try a different life style.

In a nutshell, I think he is burned out. I hope I have done my best to help him achieve work-life balance (I did that quite well myself, even when I was a grad student), but I guess it is just too hard for normal people to be much disciplined.

Then I realized that I probably also had some kind of burnout around my graduation. I took a non-research position as the first job, even though it was in a graphics company (NVIDIA). I also wanted to try learning new things (hardware architecture) and living a different style (engineer).

So I guess it is probably OK. People are not meant to be doing the same thing all the time. This is also why I like to try different job sectors and geographical locations.

There are two things to watch out, though, all based on my personal experiences: passion, and rust.

Passion

I have a very simple rule to choose jobs: do what you really like, and be very good at it.

Sometimes, when people get burned out, they might temporarily settle for something that they neither really like nor really be good at. But eventually, you will know if the job is not for you. I did not realize how much I like doing research until after I was not been able to spend enough time on it for about 3.5 years after my graduation.

The important thing is to get out there as quickly as possible. Otherwise, you will eventually become one of these people who are not really happy or good at their jobs but also cannot quit.

Rust

People tend to get rusty for skills that they have not practiced for a while. This is particularly so for advanced skills, like research.

So, make sure you do whatever you can to be active in research during your non-research job. Otherwise, you might not be able to come back, even if you want.

I have been trying my best to be engaged in research during my NVIDIA days. I even managed to publish a single authored graphics hardware paper. But it still took me about 2 to 3 years to get back in shape for SIGGRAPH after joining MSR. The difference between SIGGRAPH and other graphics venue is like the difference between playing professional sports and working out in a gym.
I guess SIGGRAPH is probably an extreme case, but I hope you get what I mean.

2013-03-03

Intrinsic

Filed under: Imaginary,Real — liyiwei @ 6:46 pm
Tags: ,

A really beautiful woman can shine without makeup or enhancement12.
A truly capable man can function without job title or institution13.

1Replace man and woman above with unisex nouns if you like. I do not mean to be a sexist; the sentences just flow better.

2To sense whether that someone is for you, see her true self; wake up early on a Sunday morning, sneak beside her bed, and watch her sleep.

3I spent my early childhood listening to my grandparents’ stories on how they survived WW2 and how untrustworthy governments can be. I became one of the few in my (and younger) generation with this innate distrust of institutions. (Self psycho-analysis indicated this is a main source of my inclination towards individualism + self-reliance and my philosophical difficulty working in a company.) If you have no idea what I am talking about, try “Wealth, War and Wisdom” by Barton Biggs. (The book succeeded in conveying the sense of institutional distrust, even though I do not agree with all the points.)

2013-02-27

Credit

Filed under: Real — liyiwei @ 6:55 pm
Tags: ,

There were certainly many people get involved in the creation of iPad, but Steve Jobs is the only one who got credit for it.
(Replace iPad + Steve Jobs with whatever product + creator pair you like, and you get what I mean.)

So, you either be one who can get credit for something (entrepreneur/inventor could be a good start if you have the brain and gut for it), or work for those who can get credits (if you prefer a more stable and secure life).
This is a tradeoff. But in either case, do not whine.

2013-02-12

Anger

Filed under: Real — liyiwei @ 11:12 am
Tags: , ,

A few evenings ago while tunneling through one of the numerous secret passageways of Hogwarts I overheard a heated argument between a pair of young student couples.

They clearly thought it was a sufficiently secluded place for letting go all of their inner emotions.

It was quite enjoyable to feel so much energy in the kind of anger signature of young couples. After they are older, they will cool off, and silently resent and despise each other.

2013-02-11

Disappointment

Filed under: Real — liyiwei @ 1:13 pm
Tags: , ,

I avoid airline check-in counters because it is a huge waste of time and I seldom bother with luggage anyway, but a few flights ago I had to do it due to malfunctioning self-check-in kiosks. While laboring with an agent, I overheard the conversation in an adjacent counter.
I did not watch the customer because my visual cortex was occupied with mental seat-map upload, but from his voice and intonation I pictured a high level corporate manager in his 50s with bristle white hair in a business suit.

The guy was hissing out sentences like “this is totally unacceptable; I am a XXXX elite status member”, in a tone of shock, indignation, and disappointment.

Gosh. If I had known the company he worked for I would have shorted it.

Self-note: dealing with check-in counters might not be such a bad thing because it provides opportunities for observing humanity under emotional stress.

2013-02-09

Wedding photo of my grandparents

Filed under: Real — liyiwei @ 1:25 pm
Tags: ,

My father dug out this old photo of my (paternal) grandparents’ wedding, which took place near the end of WW2 in Jiangxi province, China.

I am not sure why, but such old photos tend convey a unique sense of beauty.

This particular one also carries some historical background.
My grandfather was a KMT air force officer, *lucky* enough to have spent the best part of his life in the most *interesting* segment of the Chinese history.
He has fought the warlords and the Asian theatre of WW2, which was almost done during his wedding. He probably thought the peace was finally coming without realizing that the commies were around the corner and a full scale civil war would break out just a year later. (As a further twist, Jiangxi province, where he stationed and married, was the origin of Chinese commies.)

It is just so romantic to get married in the middle of all these shit-storms. I can imagine the photo declaring to the whole world that “we know there is a lot of crap going on right now. But screw you all. We are getting married today. This is our world and nothing is going to stop us”.

Date: April 4, 1945
Place: Jiangxi Province, (likely) Jiujiang City (九江), China

2013-01-27

漸漸

Filed under: Imaginary,Real — liyiwei @ 1:06 am
Tags:

【侯 文詠】漸漸

最近有個餐飲界的病人和我大談經營理念,談著談著我忽然豁然開朗。原來這個人經營的是色情酒店。不但如此,他得意地自誇旗下女將清一色是大專程度以上。知識份子怎麼會去從事色情陪酒行業?!我們不免好奇十足。

「其實很簡單,我刊登廣告,徵求大專程度以上的女性會計。凡是應徵者都必須檢具學歷證書。」

「你刊登不實廣告,誘騙應徵少女。」他神秘地笑:「我們的會計薪水是比別人高沒錯。不過每個小姐一來我都說得很清楚。我們這裡的確有色情陪酒。但是領會計的薪水絕對只能做會計的工作。和裡面陪酒的小姐完全不同。絕不強迫。」

「那 就領薪水,好好地做個會計。」我問。

「是做會計沒錯。不過日子久了,和裡面端盤子的小姐熟了,大家都一樣是大專畢業的,好溝通。忙不過來的時候幫忙端個盤子,送送酒,也是常有的事。這個時候我就告訴小姐;你看,當會計領一萬二千元,端盤子送酒薪水二萬四,端盤子又不陪客人,不是什麼壞事,反正你都常常端盤子,為什麼不乾脆領二萬四?」

「這樣說個幾次就開始動搖了。同樣都是工作,為什麼不領二萬四呢?俱樂部的規定是,端盤子的小姐不准坐下來陪客人喝酒,這樣和坐檯小姐才有區別。可是日子久了,客人熟了,也會意思意思要求喝杯酒。開頭總是不願意,後來熬不過就喝一杯。說是站著喝。」

「一開始喝酒就好辦了。站著喝酒薪水是二萬四,坐著喝是四萬八,客人給的小費還不包括在內。同樣都是大專畢業,為 什麼錢賺的比別人少?!就會有人勸她了,人都在裡面了,外面的人誰知道你是端盤子,還是坐檯呢?!再說自己真的清白,別跟客人出場就好了,陪客人喝酒,就算在社會上交際應酬也是常有的事。」

「於是坐下來當坐檯小姐。剛開始一定規規矩矩地喝酒。也不隨便跟客人出場。這一行競爭大,領四萬八慢慢就會嫌不夠了。只 好挑看得順眼的客人給帶出場了。作久了,總是會給厲害的客人佔便宜,哭哭啼啼鬧一陣子也就好了。畢竟讀過書,狠下心來做得更利落、更敢,客人喜歡,我也得意,這是兩廂情願的事。」

他停了一下又說:「我從來沒有強迫過別人,也從來不擔心找不到小姐,反正這個環境慢慢會改變她們,直到她們根本忘記自己原來的想法和樣子!!」

我愈聽眼睛睜得愈大,從不曾想過在這樣不疾不徐的瑣碎裡,竟也有血肉飛濺似的驚心動魄。豐子愷寫過文章感嘆:使人生圓滑進行的微妙要素,莫如「漸」;造物主騙人的手段,也莫如「漸」。

在不知不覺中,天真浪漫的孩子「漸漸」變成野心勃勃的青年。慷慨豪俠的青年「漸漸」變成冷酷的成人;血氣旺盛的成人「漸漸」變成頑固的老頭子!!

對時間的感嘆,本是人類共同的命運,儘管悲傷,大自然不變的法則是誰都沒話說的事。可是對於意識形態,價值之漸,卻叫人坐立不安。

原來是錯的事,為什麼「漸漸」變成對的事??原本可恥的事,為什麼又「漸漸」人人爭相追逐??整個臺北市翻翻補補,敲敲打打,還有政治風暴、金融危機、社會秩序動盪,彷彿整個城市快傾毀了,可是這時代更叫人無法忍受的卻是那種無聲無息,無法感受的(漸),扭曲意識形態,把人的尊嚴、我們活著僅仰賴的那一點感覺吃掉。

無從捉摸,無法抵擋的墮落與沉淪。 漸漸之可怕,在於我們的不知不覺。世界上沒有任何東西是永遠不變的,唯一不變的只有一件事,就是任何東西都在變!

2012-11-21

Flesh UI

Filed under: Real — liyiwei @ 2:52 am
Tags: ,

I have a primary bank in Asia and a primary bank in the US.

The online banking of that US bank is very easy to use; the UI design is likely good enough for a textbook example.

In contrast, online banking for that Asia bank is extremely difficult to use (even for a computer scientist); the UI design is so bad that it can also serve as a textbook example.

I have been wondering how that Asia bank could have survived its customer complains about UI. Today, I found out the answer.

I needed to conduct a transaction that (to the extent I can figure out through that UI jungle) cannot be done online. So I went to a local branch. The (human) bank clerks were so efficient that the entire process probably took less time than doing it online by myself.

So I guess most people in Asia simply do banking with real humans. It is not only because human labors are more abundant in Asia, but also that Asians have more inherent distrusts for online banking.

Lesson learned: a bad UI needs fix only if used.

2012-10-02

How to adjust for jetlag

Filed under: Real — liyiwei @ 7:26 pm
Tags: , ,

I have a very simple trick that works very well for me (I am a frequent time-zone hopper) and I believe it will work for everyone with sufficient will power.

Exercise. A lot of it.

The reasons are simple.
It is very unlikely for one to fall asleep during exercise, while very likely for one to after a long arduous one.
And it is extremely healthy, compared to alternatives (e.g. taking drugs).

All cardio-exercises will do, but my favorite is swimming; it is the least likely place to sleep within (especially if the water is not too warm) and most likely inducement for sleep afterwards (given the same amount of workout time).

« Previous Page — Next Page »

Theme: Rubric. Get a free blog at WordPress.com