Confessions of a researchaholic

A discussion about sperm donation came into my mind a few days ago.

All biological beings are built to spread and continue their genetic legacies. However, I should also be responsible on how my genetic future will match, grow, and further spread. And thus consider one-way blind donation unsuitable for me.

I noticed a missed delivery slip near my front door. As before, I filled it out for redelivery without requiring signature, but the package never came and the staff could not find it in their office. Due to its content, I guess the package has been stolen. I did not keep a copy of the delivery slip since the process has worked before a few times.
Lesson learned: keep the due diligence and never let my guard down.

[This is my reply to a co-author who expressed concerns about the randomness in peer reviews.]

During my military training, a saying went like 散彈打鳥不死也傷, which roughly translates to “if one shoots enough bullets into a forest eventually a bird will be hit”.

(There are others related quotes such as “the best way to have a great idea is to have a lot of ideas” by Linus Pauling, but shooting bullets feels more concrete/visceral.)

Other things being equal, more attempts tend to reduce statistical variance and increase the numbers of success.

I received an announcement earlier today that a prominent member of our research community is scheduled to retire next month, which made me think about what it means for a research scientist to retire.

To me, it means all the extra time and freedom to do whatever I want, such as single-author a SIGGRAPH paper in an exotic topic that I wouldn’t be able to find support from funding agencies or company managements. (I used to joke with my students that I plan to single-author papers when I am 88 years old.) But I have yet to reach that biological and career stage, so I cannot predict what I can or want to do then.

Maybe I will write a follow-up post when I turn 88.

It was great to (virtually) meet with my PhD adviser after all these years. I was trying to discuss collaboration and he told me that he just wanted to catch up.

I have been bumping into the same group of people throughout my career; maybe we are a small community.

A student greeted members of her PhD defense committee via an email, and got scorched by one of the examiners for trying to schedule her own oral defense, using a “buddy” tone (including the use of emojis), sending from a non-school email account, and not addressing the examiner with a professor salute.

I like to tell this student that (1) a person is measured by the size of things that matter to him/her, (2) do not become such a person in the future.

Concrete numbers and data can help rational discussion of issues, including the trade-off between lives and jobs in the current lock-down situation.

I usually found patent disclosure meetings a bit tedious. But the (remote) one held yesterday afternoon with two patent attorneys on a single-authored patent felt quite reassuring. During upheavals, routines can calm.

The best part about attending a top school is not (just) the education, research, and networking, but the constant reminder to be humble and avoid underachieving for the rest of my life.

https://twitter.com/liyiwei/status/1240321335110164480

the official ACM announcement https://t.co/EfWw8qy0D2

— Li-Yi Wei (@liyiwei) March 18, 2020

In this podcast from a few days ago, Mervyn King made the point that uncertainty might cause anxiety but ultimately also makes life fun.

For about a zodiac round from 2005 to 2017, I have been working and living mostly alone in different parts of the world. So, the recent travel restriction and remote work policy simply put me back in my previous solo mode.

This business quarter (or maybe the next few ones) could shed light on whether and how working away from the office would affect productivity. I guess it depends on the job functions (e.g., research scientists versus sales manager), individual styles (e.g., introvert or extrovert), and family situations (e.g., young kids at home).

Like biology, diversity can be beneficial in political systems as well, shedding lights on how they fare under different scenarios.

It is not clear how much practical benefit the Trump EU travel ban has, but at least he is sending the kind of political message that is expected from him, and probably a less racist one compared to the Mexico border wall.

The team that is hurt the least from the NBA shutdown is the one I supported, which went from 3 championships and 5 straight final appearances until last year to the bottom dweller this year (largely due to a key player injured by a flagrant foul). I am personally not that interested in seeing other teams winning championships.

Just remember that it might be of use to you in the future.

I joined as a first-time “reader” for a human library event, and talked with two “books”.

The first one, titled “choosing failure and challenging success (mental health ADHD/ANX)”, was a young girl (at least relative to me) who looked and acted entirely normal during our conversation. She said that she has family-inherited ADHD and has always felt anxious about everything in her life, even just walking outside. It took her 10 years to get her college degree because she had to drop out for mental health issues.
To overcome her fears, she took on adventures such as scuba diving and jumping off waterfalls during rafting.
I picked this “book” partially because I am interested in psychology in general, and partially because I also had some difficulty focusing outside my own mind (one main reason why I ended up self-studying most of my course materials and skipping since I was about 10 years old).
The only telltale sign that she showed was the need to pick up a toy object to play around to keep her focus. (She kept another one on the table for me to play with, which happens to be a piece of clay, which I played with obsession in kindergarten.)
We discussed how the (American) society focuses more on being normal and demonstrating performance than the need for people to take care of their health, both mental and physical.

The second one, titled “suicide survivor”, was a 59-years-old man.
He grew up in an alcoholic family, started drinking at age 12 for socializing and dealing/escaping with family issues, tried to prove himself by taking on demanding (and thus stressful) tasks, got married and had children, divorced and lived with his girlfriend, broke up with the girl friend and lost both the house and his job (the girlfriend owned the former and also worked in the latter), and decided to kill himself after a week of drinking and drugging.
He first tried to drown himself by laying down into a river only to wake up a few hours later found himself floating and (thus) alive, overdosed on some drugs which still didn’t kill him, and cut his wrist (he showed me the scars and described in detail how to properly cut to really kill) only to wake up a few hours later soaked in a pool of blood.
He finally called a hospital and spent a few weeks (or months) in intensive care for recovery.

He has now learned the existence of God through his AA (alcoholic anonymous) gatherings and worked in suicide prevention.
He asked whether I ever thought about killing myself; I did not tell him that I am the type who would just kill all my opponents if the needs arise, but replied with other related thoughts.
One is the optimal age to die. Modern medicine is better at preserving life expectancy than maintaining life quality. Instead of waiting till the very end when one has lost both mind and body, an earlier death might be more optimal.
His replied is interesting, in that one could not judge the future self. For example, even though he has all these physical pains at age 60 that he would find intolerable at age 30, he felt he is awesome right now. So maybe a complete senile person might enjoy the existence that a younger version could not comprehend and thus unable to judge.

I was in a shared Uber ride today, waiting for a couple heading for the SJC airport.
After the driver and I arrived and waited for a couple of minutes, the husband showed up waving at us, while tying his dog to a fence. The wife showed up after another couple of minutes, taking the dog to the car, while the husband went back to retrieve luggage, for a further couple of minutes. When both finally settled in the car, the wife said she could not find her wallet, and took another couple of minutes searching around.
After we were officially ready to take off, the husband said to the driver: do you know how to go to the airport? Turn right here, without even realizing that they might not have the first stop.

Meanwhile, the driver told me (in a language that the couple would not understand) that he could not understand why anyone heading to the airport would want to take a carpool, and (fortunately) ignored the husband and followed the Waze instruction to drop me off.

One best part about Uber/Lyft rides, especially carpools, is the chance to see different kinds of people that do not tend to show up in my usual social circles.

The best way (for me) to relax is to tackle the source of the stress/pressure head on.

A master of a traditional art form recently told me that nowadays it is becoming harder to find apprentices with required patience and will power to really learn the craft, probably due to the modern lifestyle accelerated by modern technology, such as social media and mobile devices.
He was considering modifying the curriculum to fit this modern world.

I have the opposite opinion. I will keep the bar as high as possible so that only the most motivated and talented will come to me.
千軍易得一將難求

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A post shared by Kublai (@kub1ai) on Jul 13, 2019 at 8:48pm PDT

I captured this great view from SF-MOMA, in which the wall says:

So you’ve gotten very close, you’ve shared a complete experience.
And the idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting anyway.
Never getting in is the most exciting, but after that, waiting to get in is the most exciting.

Don’t we all tend to be obsessed with what we cannot get in life: the dream job, the dream lover, the dream trip, which pop into reality when we finally have a chance to get in.

A guy sat at the cafe table next to mine, wearing a red MAGA (make America great again) hat.
I was thinking if he was looking for a fight or something. After taking off his hat and put it on the table, I saw a lonely old face. He was completely left alone before slowly walking off.

The dinner conversation with a bunch of former NVIDIA employees reminded me of many top folks I have closely worked with there, such as Erik Lindholm, Walt Donovan, Henry Moreton, Alex Minkin, and John Danskin.
Only one of them was a manager at that time, and they wielded power through their knowledge in GPU architecture instead of corporate hierarchy.

I aspire to have their style in mentoring future generations of graphics researchers.

A few years back I was having a hard time deciding between two job offers from institutions X and Y. After joining Y, I found out that the hiring manager in X left, which, if I had joined, might have succeeded the position. I kept on thinking this is the first (and only) career mistake I have made, until I heard recently that the positions in X are funded temporarily and are being slashed.

During my lunch people watching in the sandwich place, the lady waiting for her food across from the table started to chat with me.
She was entirely smooth in starting the conversation (along the line of: your lunchbox looks cool) and talking about other topics like office location and work division. She is part of employee experience which explains her style and skill. All I needed to do was to ask her the same questions.

“Hate traps us by binding us too tightly to our adversary.” – Milan Kundera

I guess this is another way to say “don’t get mad, get even.”

I was in a meeting with a colleague and an immigration lawyer a few days ago. I was prepared to argue for a difficult case, but found the lawyer surprisingly receptive. She spoke tersely and stopped frequently to ask for any questions or feedbacks.

EQ gradually outweighs IQ in determining career success when one becomes more senior. Maybe that explains why that lawyer is a partner already, and behaved quite differently from a more junior lawyer previously handling the same case.

I am not sure what kind of lessons these parents are trying to teach their kids by cheating with college admissions; maybe they have successfully cheated towards their own career successes and believe their kids can follow suit.

When I was a kid I skipped most art classes to focus more on competing against my peers (e.g. math).

Now, no longer feeling such needs, I shift the focus to compete against myself. To beat the past version of me, my best chance is to develop soft powers, such as artistic and personal skills. I could pick these up so far even lying dormant inside me for all these years.

Important message from Executive Vice-President [of HKU]

Dear colleagues and students,

The University was informed by the Agriculture, Fisheries and Conservation Department (AFCD) that there had been an incident of a wild boar attacking pedestrians at Lyttleton Road Exit this morning (July 24, 2018).

For safety sake, please stay at a distance from any wild animal, and if possible, please avoid walking close to the hill side. The AFCD will visit the campus tomorrow and provide professional advice and appropriate actions.

Any sighting of or encounter with wild boars on or near the campus should be reported to the University’s security team immediately.

A rising star in HCI pinged me about my physical whereabouts. I asked if he would like to drop by for a visit, and he told me that he was here last Friday for the fellowship award ceremony, which I skipped to get some work done despite the UR manager knocking on the door.

Like many wise people have cautioned, we never regret not doing enough work.

Head-buffs, bought by and felt like my parents

If I could foresee my entire life I might have made some choices differently. But since I cannot I have no regret so far.

Find out what you want to devote yourself to, and stick to it without ever giving up. You will then more likely to have a happy, fulfilling life.

A colleague who has been with the company for more than 30 years recently retired.
During our lunch at his last working day, I asked him why he wanted to retire. He answered that he preferred his individual researcher + developer role more than management and team roles which tend to happen as one becomes more senior, and he also likes to spend more time with his hobbies in art and physics.

I joked that if I were ever forced to retire I would heist the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco. But maybe one day that will change, just like I could not imagine I will ever get married when I was still in school.

A few days ago a lens was knocked out of my eye glasses.
After carefully putting the lens back and ensuring that everything is in shape, the glasses still produced weird optical distortion.
Finally, I realized that the lens is symmetric in boundary shape but asymmetric in optical axis, and I have put it upside down.

I heard this teaching about life-long learning from Confucius when I was a little kid, but it took time to appreciate what it really means. Instead of assuming we will continue to master what (we think) we already know, constant reviewing what is already there in our heads and help learning what is new in the future.

What I told students prior to a major deadline:

10 years ago: you should work hard as there is little time left.

1 month ago: go for the Kobe Bryant jersey retirement if that is important for you (later – BTW I am glad that Kevin Durant made that game winning shot).

One of the best things I like about taking Uber/Lyft is to meet different people who are otherwise completely outside my ordinary social circles.
Some examples include a Mongolian lady who told me about the Mongolian birthmark, a reggae musician, an Iranian retiree, and an avid Trump supporter.

Today I met an Afghan who worked with the US military in Afghanistan as a translator and IT staff, and recently migrated to the US. The military helped him settled down with green card and other stuff like driver license. But since his family is around (including a new born daughter), instead of the military he is looking for civilian IT jobs, but without any luck so far due to lack of proper degrees.
(If I were to hire programmers or engineers I want to see what they can do instead of just certificates.)
I recommended him some CIA jobs (sent to me a while back for unknown reasons) such as security, information, engineering, and language.

A neighbor wants to remove a palm tree because it blocks the view and does not belong to northern California.

A palm tree which its neighbors want to remove as "it does not belong in northern California".

A post shared by Kublai (@kub1ai) on Nov 12, 2017 at 4:11pm PST

The tree has been there since the beginning of human settlement, and has grown very well.

Who can decide whether others belong?

I say whoever adapts, belongs.

I would like to thank those who ever stabbed me in the back, because you have made me a better person.
I will live the rest of my days preparing that someday, somehow, someone will stab me again.

Someone asked me whether he/she stands a chance to apply for a position.

Just go ahead and do it. I never care whether I stand a chance or not. The only thing I know for sure is that the chance is zero if I do not even try.

Recently, I contacted Ken Anjyo via his email account, which is spelled in English. When he replied, his Japanese name 安生健一 appeared in front of his email address.

If you can read Chinese alphabets, including Kanji for Japanese and Hanja for Korean, you can probably see the meaning of this name before you hear its sounds. (A direct Chinese translation would be: safe-birth-health-first, and overall the name looks very healthy/stable/safe.) I actually do not know how to pronounce the name in Japanese; fortunately that does not prevent me from comprehending the semantics. (There is some phonetic similarity among some Chinese/Japanese/Korean words and phrases, but not much.)

This is a key difference between Asian and European languages.
When I read Chinese, I see.
When I read English, I hear.

If you are dumped by your lover, better yourself to so that he/she will regret.

If you are fired by your company, join or start a competitor to beat them.

If you are exiled by your nation, start a coup to take back the control.

Focus on improving yourself instead of revenging your enemies.
The former will optimize your happiness and performance without violating any legal or ethical code, while the latter will misdirect your thinking and emotion.

I am the only one who can beat myself.
You are the only one who can beat yourself.

Once, I asked a gay friend what it feels like if he is forced to make out with a girl.
His answer: it is like I am forced to make out with a guy.
🙂

If you are a straight guy feeling uncomfortable with gay guys making out (say 2% of all couples you see in your daily life), just imagine how uncomfortable they are with straight couples making out (98% of couples they encounter in their daily lives).