Confidence is not about knowing I am good at something; instead, it is about sucking at the bottom and still being able to win.
I did two drawings on a long distance flight.
The first one I drew from memory, taking me a lot of time and still sucks.
The second one I drew from a frozen in-flight movie frame in only a few minutes.
I wish everything can go as smoothly as the second drawing, but life moves forward regardless.
About a decade ago, Evvia felt like a place for old people to me.
It was livelier a few days ago when I visited again.
I wondered what has changed and realized maybe I got old.
Artistic creation and scientific research share many similarities, such as picking the right subject/topic, and trusting the iterative process.
When I start a research or drawing, I usually do not have a very concrete idea of what I want to do, at least for more innovative projects. (If I can see a clear road-map from the beginning, the project is incremental.)
Just start doing something, and the process will guide me.
I did not really want to draw this one but felt compelled to finish the third of the Evvia series.
A master of a traditional art form recently told me that nowadays it is becoming harder to find apprentices with required patience and will power to really learn the craft, probably due to the modern lifestyle accelerated by modern technology, such as social media and mobile devices.
He was considering modifying the curriculum to fit this modern world.
I have the opposite opinion. I will keep the bar as high as possible so that only the most motivated and talented will come to me.
千軍易得一將難求
I captured this great view from SF-MOMA, in which the wall says:
So you’ve gotten very close, you’ve shared a complete experience.
And the idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting anyway.
Never getting in is the most exciting, but after that, waiting to get in is the most exciting.
Don’t we all tend to be obsessed with what we cannot get in life: the dream job, the dream lover, the dream trip, which pop into reality when we finally have a chance to get in.
While waiting for the bus to Luxembourg I walked around the Saarbrucken Hbf area, with many interesting sights, folks, shops, and outdoor sitting areas. Like some other parts of Germany (or Europe), one has to pay to use the washrooms in the train station and department stores.
I decided not to bow to any such extortion until I found a place with an old gentleman in nice suit stood by the door holding a tip tray without mandatory charges. I happily put down the same amount that would be required in other places.
A guy sat at the cafe table next to mine, wearing a red MAGA (make America great again) hat.
I was thinking if he was looking for a fight or something. After taking off his hat and put it on the table, I saw a lonely old face. He was completely left alone before slowly walking off.
The dinner conversation with a bunch of former NVIDIA employees reminded me of many top folks I have closely worked with there, such as Erik Lindholm, Walt Donovan, Henry Moreton, Alex Minkin, and John Danskin.
Only one of them was a manager at that time, and they wielded power through their knowledge in GPU architecture instead of corporate hierarchy.
I aspire to have their style in mentoring future generations of graphics researchers.
Excerpt from How to Look: Art Comics by Ad Reinhardt
Viewer: ha-ha what does this represent?
Painting: what do you represent?
An abstract painting will react to you if you react to it.
You get from it what you bring to it.
It will meet you halfway but no further.
It is alive if you are.
It represents something and so do you.
You, sir, are a space, too.
Realistic paintings tell you exactly what they are, while abstract paintings invite you to think.
This applies to not only paintings but also other things, such as books and people.
Today during a computer eye break I went to a high school art show hold inside the company. Some of the works are impressive, especially given that they were made by high school students.
I skipped almost all my art and music classes as a kid as I thought they were useless. Experimental results indicated that drawing is not too late to pick up later, even though I wish I could have spent more time on music and physical training earlier in my life.
When people express opinions about what I am doing, I find it very helpful to just focus on the parts that can constructively propel me forward and just ignore the rest which just cause positive or negative emotions.
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